I was raised by a wonderful, amazing family. Not that everything they did was “ok” and not that they were perfect, but we were getting by. My Grandmother, “Nanny” Helen, was wonderful for all of us and by the grace of God and my Nanny’s willingness to serve God, I was saved at the age of nine.
My life before that—well, let’s just say it wasn’t so great. When I was six, my family moved to live near my Nanny and my mother’s family. Then, when I was 7, I began hearing and seeing spirits. And then, when I was 15 years old, he came into our lives. His name was John.
John came into my life at an extremely difficult, tumultuous time. I was so, so sick of my life that God hadn’t fixed yet—the complicated life I hadn’t asked for. I had thought God would make it IMMEDIATELY well after I accepted him at the tender age of 9. But when it wasn’t better, I began looking for other avenues. I remember being at that young age and beginning to dabble in the occult. Well, let me take that back. It wasn’t dabbling, it was full on, attempting spells, praying to someone else besides God, and asking for deeds to be done kind of action. I was seeing and hearing demons. Having horrid dreams. Watching things move in my home. At that time, the Lord drew a line for me. It wasn’t poverty or a complicated family life that brought the pain. It was that I had to make a decision—either “God’s way or the world’s way.” I couldn’t serve two Masters. I had to choose.
A friend of the family had a boarder show up one day. Out of the blue. Aunt Fini claimed that he just came to the door looking for a place to stay. As I said before, his name was John. He was younger than my parents, and had the most piercing blue eyes I had ever seen. In fact, if I close my eyes and think on him today, I can still see those eyes…18 years later.
My mother was always drawn to alternate beliefs. She told me that John was a warlock and that given our “studies” he could help us. They became fast friends and she warned me that he became her friend because of me. That he wanted me. They would be on the phone at night, and he would say “Let’s wake up Kim”. And a few seconds later, I would walk down the steps to see my mother’s wide-eyed, scared face. It was always at about 2:30 a.m.
For the record, John never touched me or said anything inappropriate to me. This was actually different to my given past. I felt safe with him. In fact, I collected Penguins, and he bought me one as a gift. I held it proudly on my mantle there.
John told me he had a family in Florida. A wife and two kids. I am still not sure why he was here except the reason he told me—to train me. After spending time with me, he claimed he came to our town to train me to be a witch because he felt my power from wherever he was before Florida.
One day, while I was working a “spell” from a book I got from the library while at Auntie’s house, he asked me if I wanted him to train me. I said “why?” He said “Because I see more power in you than I have ever seen in anyone.”
Aunt Fini and others had taught me that I could be a “white witch” – that I could still be a “Christian” and a “witch” at the same time. I did these white witch spells with Aunt Fini at her home, and carried an Indian safety pouch that I wore everyday under my shirt. And I really believed that I could be a white witch.
I very excitedly asked him what would come of my official training. He said “You would never be able to walk into a church again. They would feel the evil coming off of you”.
I asked him to give me a day to think about it. I went home and prayed. Yes, I still prayed. I still thought I could do both. I asked God to show me the way. But I didn’t feel him. Instead, I heard a demon growl in my face that night while I was trying to read the Bible. And I gave up on God due to fear.
I went to John the next day and asked him to train me. I didn’t care that I couldn’t ever go into a church again, as he claimed. All I knew is that I was being tormented, and maybe, just maybe, I could control it with a different belief. So, we began that day. We spent the day with him teaching me to concentrate, and he would tell me what was on my mind. And I would tell him what was on his. It actually seemed to work! That evening, we were goofing off with Aunt Fini, and he disappeared in front of both of us and then reappeared. I knew he had claimed he could do it, but that was the first (and only) time I have EVER seen anything like that.
It actually scared the hell out of me. Literally. I went home and BEGGED God to forgive me. And for the first time, I felt safe. I cannot explain the peace I felt. I slept better that night than any other night in my memory. The next morning, I told John that he could not train me anymore. That I refused to never walk into a church ever again. That I knew God loved me. John said that I would never escape him. That it would happen eventually because Satan knew what good I would do and he would find a way to stop it.
The very next morning, Thanksgiving, he was gone. Aunt Fini said that John decided to go home. They found his car the next day, on the side of the road in the snow and none of us have heard from him since.
I still had nightmares of him, even as my faith grew. At the age of 16, we moved to another town. That is where I met my Sarah Belle. And on occasion, I would wake up at 2:30 and know that he knew where I was. I called Sarah one day and she came over. We blessed my house with oil and prayers. She took the gift of a penguin he gave me and got rid of it. Then, I went to Mexico in 1997 on a mission trip and I clearly saw him the face of a native. I shared that with a dear friend of mine. We prayed and he went away. We saw the native’s face change. I haven’t seen or felt him since that day.
I am by no means perfect. But I do know that my God is. Even when I willingly turned my back on HIM, He still protected me. My story may even seem unbelievable to you, but because I lived it and I know it’s real, I am able to share it with others as a testimony that there is no difference between black magic and white magic. All “magic” is evil. Instead of magic, we must choose the love and power of God, because it is the love of God that gives us the power to live.