Living Between the Lines

On Loving, Leaving, Hurting, & Healing

May 16, 2012 5 Comments Tweet

You would think that growing up in a “nomadic” pastor’s family that I would have learned early how to let go of people. My heart just doesn’t work that way. When I befriend someone, I fall in love with them. And it’s the “for keeps” kind of love.

I love being able to love people with my whole heart. I can’t imagine trying to hold the world at arm’s-length. I like to think that my loving people deeply makes the world better somehow.

I also have to admit that loving so deeply hurts. A lot. For me, the children in my life have been the most painful. I’ve taken care of a lot of children in the past, and to love them so much and then have to walk away from them… it’s almost like a piece of my heart dies. There are children that I used to take care of that I still dream about at night and wake up wondering where they are, how they are.

It’s not just children, though. It’s people like my friend, Sheila, whose funeral I sang at after breast cancer stole her. And my college roommates, who are now scattered around the world, chasing their dreams.

Last night, an email came that I’ve been expecting for a couple of months now.

Three thousand miles is a LONG way! There’s a lot of real estate between here and there! I am REALLY going to miss you! Are you sad at all?

I’m leaving again. Not just one person, but practically every person I have ever known in my whole life. Am I sad at all? My gosh, yes! I’m also terrified. But I know, in my heart, that it’s what I’m supposed to do. So I am.

Katie says, “We are just called to love with abandon. We are called to enter into our neighbors’ sufferings and love them right there.”

I’ve always loved with abandon. Now, I’m just going to do it in a new neighborhood. Hopefully, this new neighborhood will be a little brighter for it.

And another piece of wisdom from Katie, to close:

“The number of days or weeks we are together isn’t important; what really matters is the way God knits our hearts together during the time he chooses for us to be in one another’s lives.”

This post is part of a weekly discussion that my buddy, Jason Stasyszen and I are having about the memoir, Kisses from Katie. You don’t have to read the book to stick around and discuss, though! But in case you read the chapter and want to post your response, you’ll find the widget below! 

One

May 9, 2012 5 Comments Tweet

It was more than 100 degrees in the room we were in. A room smaller than my living room. With no furniture save four or five cheap plastic chairs for our patients to sit in. The five of us were practically standing on top of each other. And with no electricity, no lights, and no air-conditioning, we … [Read More...]

Dancing on the Edge

May 6, 2012 14 Comments Tweet

I dance on the edge. Many of my churched friends tend to watch my life with fear and trepidation that one day, I will spin off into oblivion, while a lot of my unchurched friends wonder why I remain so inhibited. I’m an outsider. Several of my Christian friends see me spending time with … [Read More...]

Loving or Judging – The Discussion Continues

May 2, 2012 3 Comments Tweet

Last week, I wrote a blog post that I summed up this way: When we sow judgment, we reap judgment. What if we sowed love? This spawned a pretty cool discussion, but since that discussion happened elsewhere in social media, you might have missed it. And since I think it’s a pretty valid … [Read More...]

Called to Love

April 24, 2012 6 Comments Tweet

About fifteen years ago, I lost my mind for about three months. The reason I say that is because for that three months, I made some of the poorest decisions I’ve ever made in my life. And one of those decisions was to get involved in a relationship with a young man who decided that he had the … [Read More...]

Overwhelmed

April 17, 2012 2 Comments Tweet

Overwhelmed. Sometimes, it feels like I live my entire life in this state. There’s too much to do. Not enough time to do it. No appreciation for any of it. Not enough money to make it happen. Not enough sleep to make it bearable. And just when you think you’ve hit your breaking point, the car … [Read More...]

Fighting the Good Fight

April 16, 2012 7 Comments Tweet

I love it when I get to introduce the special people in my life to my blog readers. And the guest writer I’m introducing today is one of the most special people in my life, Ryan Marchese. I ask you to welcome him, hear what he has to say, and search your hearts to see how it moves you to … [Read More...]

A Safe Place

April 10, 2012 5 Comments Tweet

Once upon a time, I went to one of the richest, most affluent churches in the city where I lived. It was filled with up-and-coming folks with nice, sharp clothes and straight, white teeth. They had manicured nails and name-brand shoes and shiny cars. I wasn’t any of those things. I was poor, … [Read More...]

Vidalia Onion Sandwiches and Bravery

April 3, 2012 5 Comments Tweet

“When I was a girl, when you graduated high school, you only had three choices. You could be a wife, a teacher, or a nurse.” My grandmother proudly displayed her nursing degree on the wall of her den.  As her brothers went to war and her other sisters married or went to teacher school, she left … [Read More...]

Welcome Home

March 27, 2012 3 Comments Tweet

It was my very first Sunday teaching children’s church at my parents’ rural church in Eastern North Carolina. My class of two preschoolers—Steven and Mariah—repeated after me solemnly and in a sing-song voice: “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no … [Read More...]