Peace Seeker

 

It’s December. The season of joy and peace. Or at least, that’s what I’m told. Honestly, I don’t have a great deal of experience with peace.

Contentment? Yes, I’ve experienced that.

Happiness? Yep. Been there.

Peace? I’m not quite sure what that critter looks like.

It seems like every season of my life has been marked by either upheaval within me or upheaval around me (that seeps in through my pores and causes upheaval within me). Abuse. A multitude of moves to new homes. Dysfunctional relationships. Financial struggles. Depression and struggles with thoughts of suicide. Failure. Worry. Fear. Doubt. Unbelief.

I guess that because of my nomadic upbringing, I always thought that finding a home would give me security and peace. But I’m currently 35 years old, and still living a nomadic existence. No peace there.

Because I was raised in a society where most women married and had children young, I assumed that I would as well, and that once I found the right man and did “the right thing” (marriage and children), that I would feel secure and be at peace. I’ll be 36 in just over a month, and haven’t been on a date in about 7 years. My peace won’t be coming through a man or children.

I thought that because I’m a Christian and because I’ve been raised around ministry, that working in full-time ministry would please God. And I thought that if I pleased God, I’d feel secure and have peace. But after years of working in that arena, I found myself being mistreated and disrespected – two things that will never make me feel secure or at peace.

Bob Sorge gives us some help here:

“Jesus wanted [the disciples] to learn that their peace will not be based upon their ability to stand but on their relationship to Him. For them to truly embrace this peace, they would have to first of all collapse. ‘Only after you’ve totally emptied yourself of self-reliance,’ Jesus is telling them, ‘will you then discover what it means to find your peace, not in yourself, but in Me.’”

There is nothing I can do, nowhere I can go, nobody I can hide behind, that will bring me peace and security. He is the only one who has what I need. It is my job to strip myself of the pre-conceived ideas of where peace comes from and spend my time instead wrapping myself in who He is. That is where my peace is found. That is when I’ll be secure.

This post is part of a weekly book discussion on Bob Sorge’s book, “The Fire of Delayed Answers.” You don’t have to ready the book to stick around and put your two cents in. If you did write a response to this week’s chapter, you can link it up at the widget you’ll find over at Endless Impact – that’s my friend and co-facilitator, Jason Stasyszen’s place

About Sarah Salter

Comments

  1. It’s a lesson I learn over and over (funny how it keeps coming around). Everything that I think will bring me peace fails. I don’t consciously think it, of course, but my actions and attitudes certainly display it. Peace is only in the Prince of Peace. I love how peace in Hebrew (Shalom) is so much more than just “lack of conflict.” It means completeness, wholeness, health, welfare, prosperity, stability, peace, and much more. It’s only in Him! Just reminding myself again. 🙂 Good post, Sarah. Thank you.

  2. This thought is incomplete, but as I read I started thinking (very dangerous!)… Peace is a result of being contentedly whole (Only God can bring us there.).

    Nothing else will bring us peace…

  3. Sarah Salter says:

    Jason, thanks for sharing that about “shalom.” I didn’t know that! That’s pretty awesome!

  4. Sarah Salter says:

    So, Dusty… Can one be contented without being whole? (That’s a real question. Not a trick question. And I’d be interested to hear your take on it.)

  5. Amen!
    I’m guilty of being self reliant- of thinking too highly of myself. I’m thankful that God helps me empty my cup so He can fill me up. It’s not fun, but it’s worth it.
    What I’m learning is that His ways usually make no sense to me.

    I used to not have the highest opinion of stay at home moms…until I became one and realized it’s the hardest thing and most important thing I’ve ever done.
    For years Satan had me blinded. I was career focused. I wanted to use my God given talents to help others, problem was, I was using them how I thought was best and Not how God intended. I’m so glad God removed those blinders, it took years, but since having my son, I’m finally content in life.
    But this is my story…God has a unique one designed specifically for you!

    By the way, I was able to get to this link through Jason’s site via your comment on his blog. I can’t get here any other way. Not sure why.

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